Abraham Maslow in Motivation and Personality gave a detailed analysis of human needs. He said that humans have a hierarchy of needs that once a person meets one level he/she moves is free to move on to the next level. The levels are as follows: physiological, safety, love/belonging, esteem, and self-actualization.

His writings directly apply to us as self-advocates. Professionals all too often simply say that if consumers meet the physiological, and safety needs the story is over. Others in the field say contend that some how we can jump from safety needs to esteem needs. Things don’t work out that way because we are social beings just like everyone else and develop our individuality in context with other people.

For many self-advocates, the only people in their lives are paid professionals. We live in a world of friendly but not friends, support groups, not pals, problem solving, not chewing the fat. We lack anyone to hang with or call at night or the week-ends. We have the same fundamental needs for intimacy, committed, life-long relationships just as others. Having these needs met are part and parcel of membership in community. All too often we live lives of quiet desperation, alienated, estranged, and isolated from the rest of community. Transportation and employment limitations compounds our isolation.

In follow posts, I will write about strategies for making friends an other relationships.